I'd rather be...where?

So I am sitting here in a coffee shop, reflecting on the many things that I am waiting to understand.  What's next and how do I get there?  For a person who loves to have a plan I am not much for waiting...but here I am doing just that.  

In the beginning of December, I spent the weekend working with the Regional Youth Council of the Mid-States of the Moravian Church-Northern Province (wow that is a long title...)  to plan Tar Hollow Senior High Summer Camp.  With the theme of "I'd Rather Be," camp will be thought provoking to say the least.  Interesting that I am already provoked by the theme and as I sit here waiting...I'd rather not be waiting anymore!  As we brainstormed about possible biblical characters or narratives that speak to the theme of "I'd Rather be" some of my favorites came up: Moses, Esther, Jonah, Jesus...the list went on for a while.  Of people for whom the call of God was not exactly what they expected or what they might have chosen if it had been their plan.

So as I wait, I wonder if they were like me, waiting for God to give direction or if they were blissfully unaware until the time came to change direction?   Take Moses for example, after being a prince of Egypt turned son-in-law sheep herder.  I imagine out there with the sheep gave him lots of time to think.  Did he long for the intrigue and excitement of his former home or was he content with the slower pace of the wilderness?  Was the burning bush, although frightening in its awe-fullness a welcome adventure even as tremendous doubts about the call at hand came to the surface? Moses, although a self-professed bad speaker, seemed to be quick on the uptake with his refute of God's plan.  (Good news for me on my most snarky days :) )  Moses was pretty clear about the holes in God's idea of a strategy to free the people of Israel.  And yet he came away from his encounter with "I AM" ready for a journey that promised more days of uncertainty and insecurity.   I am not Moses but when I think of it...I would rather have been anywhere but there if I were in his sandals.


So how in the world did Moses get it together...what kind of thoughts helped him take the next steps to follow along with God's plan even though it seemed like a crazy shot in the dark?

I imagine that Moses like many others before and after him followed God's direction not because it made sense to him but because he trusted that God knew more about EVERYTHING that was going on  that any human being could.  I can only imagine the courage that it took for Moses to put it all on the line, to risk sounding crazy to those closest to him, and to become "that guy" with the ludicrous ideas about freeing slaves and some promised land that most people had given up on long ago. 

As a child it seemed clear to me that Moses made the right choice and I wondered how anyone could choose not to follow God's plan...enter 29 year old Rebecca who finds herself facing one of those decisions that seems to be the choice between something safe, predictable, and reasonable or some half-baked idea that God may have some plan for my life.   A plan that may not look anything like I thought, but it will be an amazing journey of the unexpected and joyful realities that come with taking step in line with the God of Justice and Love that has so formed my life up to this point.  It is still difficult to have the same kind of blind trust of my 8 year old self.  She knew that there is no reason not to take the path of God but now I can feel the tension of waiting that weighs so heavily I can understand taking the safe route of the expected because the alternative is risky and scary.  It's tempting that's for sure... 

That 8-year old still speaks her unabashed truth that following God is the only right choice, may her courage and tenacity help me to listen and follow in the way God invites me to go.

Floating 101

When I was little, we were members of a neighborhood pool. We went almost everyday during the summer to play and swim. As soon as I was big enough to learn I took swimming lessons...you know so I could finally go into the deep end ;). It was such a big deal to be able to go into all of the sections of pool, but it took some effort. You had to earn the privilege of swimming in the deep end and jumping off the diving board.

I remember learning to swim was a series of kicking, floating, doggie paddling, and putting those things together to move in the water, which some people like to refer to as “swimming.” I really loved my lessons until we got to floating. I just wasn't sure about it. I mean how was I gonna be able to float? What if I sunk under the water? It just didn't make sense to let go of the edge or my teacher to float in the water. I was scared of what it would feel like to be untethered. To be moving with the water without giving input into the direction I would go. I remember totally freaking out! I didn't trust it and almost decided to give up because I couldn't imagine how this floating thing would actually work. I wanted to be able to skip it and was a little miffed that I had to to learn it anyway...what did my teacher know about swimming? Swimming was about getting some place in the water...people didn't need to know how to not go places in the water! But I stuck it out since I really wanted to be able to go to the deep end. I can certainly see now that I was a little over-zealous about my knowledge and experience...

For a little background...I like to go fast, to see things change, and to hold some semblance of control over my environment. I am pretty sure that has been the case forever and the 4 year old me...struggled with floating for the same reasons that I do now when life calls for a time of letting the current carry me. My natural desire is to be in control. To know where I am going and to be in charge of getting there. But the thing about swimming in the deep end that my teacher knew and I did not was that sometimes we aren't able to swim; the current my be moving too quickly, you might be too tired, or you might just want to enjoy a few moments of sky gazing. As a child I didn't know that part of learning to swim was being equipped to survive in the water when swimming wasn't possible. Thankfully my teacher did know that at different points I would need to float and so she made sure I would know how.

Lately in life it feels like I have been swimming in the deep end. I long ago took lesson on the basics of life and have been practicing. So I dove in and started making some waves...who would have known that living life could be so wonderfully exhausting? I took on the task of getting myself from point A to point B—stopping to play some Marco/Polo and discovering some other people who have a similar direction in mind for themselves. For awhile things were great...but I'd be lying if said I haven't gotten tired. All this swimming has taken a lot of energy but now I am out in the middle of the depths. I am not interested in going back to the edge but I need to take a break before I can continue forward. So I go back to the basics and remember that practice of floating. I can release my grasp...my “control” on the direction I am moving and just be carried for awhile. I can trust the rhythm and current to hold me up while I rest and take in the view.

Even as I write this the idea of letting go seems so appealing but I still struggle to do it. That same feeling I got when I learned how to float in the swimming pool calls forth a stubbornness of wanting to be in charge of where I go and how I get there. The idea of allowing myself to be taken there is frightening and reminds me of my own inability to control everything around me, even when I'm not floating. Even if I kept swimming my hardest at some point I would be so exhausted that I couldn't go forward any more or worse that could be the end of it all. So why not take a moment now to float...to take it all in and gain my bearings? So I stop kicking, stretch out my arms, and turn my head to sky and breath. There isn't anything for me to hold onto but I am held up despite myself and have the time to see the beauty around me which is often obscured as I move through the water with focus and attention on the goal. I am pretty sure that the practice of letting go is one that will always take some effort on my part but each time I loosen my grasp and float I see the wisdom of my old swim teacher. Some times when we are in the deep end all we can do is breath and be held by the current that will give us the rest we need to continue diving deeper into life.

Songs of the Heart

Music has a way of infiltrating our souls...calling out to something deep within us.  It is akin to magic, the ways in which we resonate with one another and God. 

There is quote about friendship that goes something like, "A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and will sing it to you when you have forgotten the words."  The songs of our hearts are some of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard, from those who invite to listen to them.  I am always astounded at the trust that others put in me to hold and learn the songs of their hearts, for I know how hard it has been for me at times to share my own song with another.  It is a frightening thing to let our songs fly forth into the world.  For there are those, who for many different reasons, may squander the gift of the songs we sing.  There are, however, people to whom our song arrives and finds a home.  This gift is indescribable!  How can we begin to understand the ways in which our hearts speak to one another...reason, I'm afraid has yet to explain it.

I think of these songs tonight because I had the opportunity to sing for a friend today--her song of joy and hope.  Reminding me of the times that she too has sung my song to me.  How easily we can lose the rhythm and cadence of our heart-songs for the sake of dreams and worries and doubts and busy-ness...

I wonder at my feeble attempt here to honor the joy and gratitude I feel for those who know my song because I have shared it with them and for those who so desire to know my song that they seek it out.  Sort of like Ariel in "The Little Mermaid," our songs define us, reach out to the ones we love and draw them to us.  As all the songs begin to mingle together there is a new sort of harmony.  A holy choir that sings with such passion and hope that it changes the world simply by being heard. 

When I am not sure of much, which seems to happen an awful lot...I am sure that the songs sang for me and by me are filled with the truth of God's love for all creation.  That God's song reaches out and draws us closer.  As we grow in likeness to God we too begin to sing a song of such powerful and amazing love that it changes us and the world around us. 

Thank you to all those who know my song and sing it when I have forgotten the words.  And thank you to those who entrust to me the holy task of learning to sing your songs. 

Moravian Momma...a story (Part 1)

One gorgeous day last summer a few friends and I sat around a table on an outdoor patio.  We were having a great time watching the traffic and enjoying the food before us.  At one point I told them a story about being out and having someone holla at me from the window of their car.  I was on the phone with my Momma and in the retelling I included that I said, into the phone, "Momma, I just got holla'd at."  As the story ended, the table erupted with laughter..after that had some what subsided, my friend said, "the funniest part of that story is that you referred to yourself in the third person as Momma!"--with that the table went quiet and erupted with laughter again as the rest of us laughed that Lisa had misheard me when I said I was on the phone.  Needless to say, it was a funny day and has continued to shape conversations, picture captions (I believe there is a facebook album of Hot Mommas), and discussions of if what Lisa heard was really so far from reality.  I must admit that I don't usually talk to myself about myself in third person--but if I ever feel inclined I am definitely going to use "Momma."  :)  With every laugh that has resulted over the past year because of this one story telling escapade I marvel at how it has become an identifying and unifying experience for our little gang. 


So I got to thinking about our stories.  The ones we tell, the ways they are heard, how new stories build off the old, and how our identities are shaped and change along with our stories.  There are many layers of truth, hope, sorrow, inspiration,and direction in our stories.  It is in the living, telling, retelling and listening that each of us is invited to shape others' stories and to be shaped by their engagement with our own.  It amazes me that stories from my childhood resonate in my adult life and continue to form me as I integrate the lessons of the past with present experience and the hope of the future.

Recently I have been privileged to have some inspiring conversations with Moravian clergy and friends.  In many denominational circles the conversations of tradition and communal identity are key to understanding the roles we play and the ways we engage with one another and more importantly** the world around us.  Growing up in a Moravian pastor's house left me no chance of getting out of being shaped by the Moravian story...which by the way is far too long for this particular blog post, i would be glad to point you towards further reading if you so desire.  One of the most interesting things about growing up has been living into and through the stories that shaped me, shaping them and starting some new tales along the way.

Like the story telling experience last summer some stories actually show their value when they are misheard or incomplete.  We happen into new ideas that lead us further along the path of discovery.  The beauty of the stories that shape us is only partly in the story itself and partly in the experiences of its telling.  What are your stories?  Who would you like to tell your story too?  What might becoming part of your future story as you live it right now?

Sometimes we are too quick to write the endings of stories before we get a chance  to experience the changes that add laughter, hope and joy as friends add their own marks to who we are and who we are becoming through story and its telling. 

(**author's emphasis and opinion)

BEautiful!

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder...why don't more of us behold beauty?

I have a friend who used to regularly greet me by saying, "hello beautiful!"  This was often accompanied with a smile and hug...I knew she meant it.  I would not say that before that I had a bad self image but something about hearing that word associated with me on a regular basis gave me the extra push I needed to really see what she saw and to celebrate the beauty I beheld in the mirror each morning.

The thing I learned was not that I didn't need to be active, eat well, and consider what choices I make to feel better and look better.  But I learned that most of what I see is up to me...that is true about all kinds of beauty.  I sometimes look at crumbling buildings around town and see a beautiful image of use and life in community.  Sometimes I see the opportunities for renewal which are also beautiful, new life just waiting to be embraced by someone with the vision to see other possibilities.  


Lately I have had a number of conversations about how amazing it is to meet someone who believes that they are beautiful.  The self esteem debate has been going on a long time.  So what are the things that make for a self-confident person?  I have been giving this a lot of thought...partly because I really do believe I am beautiful and mostly because I see so much beauty in the people and the world around me that is dismissed.  It is hard to know how to help friends and others see beauty in themselves...beauty that is so evident to me.  So the struggle isn't how to see beauty but how to help one another see it in ourselves.

As someone who is fortunate enough to see beauty when I look into the mirror and in those around me I wondered about what makes me different?  I had a friend ask me what I thought had produced my embrace and happiness with myself.  After some reflection, I think that my parents gave me the most by celebrating who I was becoming, reminding me that God made me just the way I was, and by loving me regardless of the awkward growing phases and the fluctuations of health, weight, and activity.  I have never doubted their love for me and the value that they believe I have as a part of God's creation.  That is VERY important because things like guilt, fear, shame, and distrust seem to lead many of us to places of self-destruction, secrecy, and harmful cycles of bad habits.

There is plenty of information that is included in the "nurture" debate.  But my parents weren't the only ones...friends who went out of the way to let me know they appreciated me and valued my presence in their lives gave me so much as I learned what it was like to be loved and cared for.  I have been fortunate to have people in my life that made it a priority to share their love for me in overt and subtle ways that proved to create a foundation for loving acceptance of myself and the beauty that is all over the world! 

I don't know how to reproduce the things that I feel have given me the openness to see beauty in myself and others except for each of us to remind those around us of their beauty and works to change the way of beholding one another as we recognize all that is beautiful, valuable and loved! 

"Kindness in words creates confidence. / Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. / Kindness in giving creates love… / Perfect kindness acts without thinking of kindness."

-  Laozi, 570-490 BCE

The stump and the sprout

Growing up I went to summer camp every year.  I remember that for years the camp T-shirts had a picture of a stump with a new tree growing from the middle.  With each year the small tree grew and so did I.  The stump and sprout were on the road into camp and most years we would walk past it and hear the story.  How the tree fell, leaving the stump.  Then by some natural mystery another tree's seed landed on the stump and set down roots.  And despite the obstacles the tree sprouted and grew into something bigger and new. 

It always captured my imagination and still does.  The tree that sprouted was a totally different kind of tree, it shared some general characteristics but what grew in the place of the pine tree changed the look of the place. The acorn that landed there wasn't trying to take the place of the pine tree but there it was.  It could grow or die.  So in the infinite wisdom of nature and the right time and circumstances the acorn "decided" to grow!  And so it did...and was so novel that we put it on a T-shirt and told its story.  Because we all like to tell the story of something amazing happening, something unexpected!  It isn't everyday that this kind of thing happens.  Out of what looks, feels like and could be death comes life, beauty, and a new story. 

So something new can grow from something old but it is unlikely, if not impossible, for that new thing to create the same landscape that had been.  It isn't that the new is better, bad or battling for a place.  The new springs forth despite the obstacles because it is being called forth!  What an exciting prospect!  God is doing something new...always and it happens naturally but not without effort and significant change to what has been.  The new story does not negate the past but builds upon it quite literally to become.

Maybe you are noticing a theme here...there is so much in my life that feels like that acorn falling onto the stump of an amazing heritage, one that has given me my voice, my identity, my vision, my hope, my courage, and my dreams.  All those things from God and the people that have shown me God through their love and care over the years.  Are calling me to grow or die...it's a scary thing because either way things must die in order for this new life to emerge.

Obstacles and all

I want to grow,

to see what might come up. 

How will it change the world I see? 

What will this new landscape be? 

Will the story be told,

each time we pass it by?

How will we hear it?

Will groups of us drink in the hope,

inspiration, and beauty of this miracle?

Will we lament the loss 

at the cost of celebrating 

all that we gain?  

Might we find the gift

in all that has come and gone, 

instead of waiting to return 

to a past that has given us

all it could?  

Will the questions stir

our hearts 

with vision and hope

or harden them to all that is unfamiliar?  

Where can we find the grace for all,

no matter how or what we see?

Obstacles and all

may we be guided by our nature, 

as creations made in the image of God,

finding ourselves shaped and becoming

part of the landscape

that invites us and others to marvel

at the miracles of this world

and the necessity of all things: the past, present and future.  

Where will we fall?  

How will we grow

in the stump or not...

Finding hope in the process as much as the outcome, 

and always cherishing the love 

that has always been and will always be

creating you, creating me

making a new something to view. 

A Prayer, A Poem, A Word

I found this and it spoke to me about where we are...trying to embrace God's vision and to allow for older visions that don't resonate to be celebrated and let go.

A long time I have lived with you

And now we must be going

Separately to be together.  

Perhaps I shall be the wind

To blur your smooth waters

So that you do not see your face too much.  

Perhaps I shall be the star

To guide your uncertain wings

So that you have direction in the night.  

Perhaps I shall be the fire

To separate your thoughts

so that you do not give up.  

Perhaps I shall be the rain

To open up the earth

So that your seed may fall.  

Perhaps I shall be the snow

To let your blossoms sleep

So that you may bloom in spring.  

Perhaps I shall be the stream

To play a song on the rock

So that you are not alone.  

Perhaps I shall be a new mountain

So that you always have a home.  

-Nancy Wood, Earth Prayer From Around the World, edited by Elizabeth Roberts and Elias Amidon, 1991.

Of the many things that must change in me so that I may follow Christ, I will celebrate the life of those things that can no longer be for me but that have made me who I am.  It is not easy to leave some things behind but it is even harder for me to refuse to change though I know abundance and love are calling forward.

Rebecca

Do We Wait Upon Worry?

Waking up to a thunder storm on Monday does not always inspire a productive day...it is hard to get up when you know from the start you will be dealing with rain and cold even before you have to get out of the warm and comfortable bed.  Not to mention that gray skies don't give me the same skip in my step as the blue and sunny skies of other days.  Rainy days feel like good days for reflection, which may be why I find myself pondering the dynamic of waiting and worrying today.

Sometimes I actively wait upon something, it gives me energy and vision to think of possibilities and ideas.  But there is also a fine line where that activity moves over into an area of worrying about how things will work out or not.  And once I get to that point it can take time for me to see that I have shifted.  Then it takes even more time to work myself out of the distraction of worrying about what might happen.  For me this worry is like the overcast skies and rain clouds of a thunderstorm.  I know before I begin the day that everything will be colored by this reality and it's hard not to give into the invitation to be lazy and just let the day slip by without digging into anything.  Don't get me wrong some days that is exactly the right thing to do.  Other days there is a second invitation to actively seek out ways to engage in the life before us while giving ourselves permission to not worry about what might happen and instead to live for today. 

For me though, it is so easy to get pulled into the worry that it can take my mind far from the things that i might do to build toward the possibilities I am waiting for.  I can be so distracted by my anxiety that I don't see the small steps before me that move me in the direction I want to go.  I think of the saying that "you can't see the forest for the trees."  If our focus is so intense on anything, even really good ideas, hopes, dreams we may find ourselves motionless or at the very least sluggish about living life fully.  


In Matthew 25:31-34, Jesus says,

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." (NLT)

Funny that some lessons I remember "learning" have a way of cropping up again...so I am reminded today that rainy days come and they go.  No matter the weather I have choice to make about how I live.  I can take a deep breath and begin to step out, hoping soon to find shelter or sunshine, or I can stand still in the rain.  Seems like a no brainer as I watch the water pour down the windows, however, sometimes I find that I have been standing still in the proverbial rain and have almost forgotten how long I have been there.

I wonder how much life I miss when my eyes focus only on the things I wait upon...lots of things in life are worth waiting for but not worrying over.  So if you find yourself living in more rainy days than not maybe there is an invitation to move towards a sunny spot or a shelter that will give you a new perspective on your journey or at the very least keep you from getting drenched by worry. 


It is one thing to get caught in the rain and another to hold yourself captive there.  I hope we can all find the beauty of our journeys through our days, rain or shine.  May we all look to the future with hope and may worry not distract us from the joy of the moment for the sake of what is to come. 

An Identity Opportunity

I have been thinking a lot about identity lately. It’s  stressful to really look deeply into who we are (or aren't) because we may find that some things need to change in order for us to become the people God wants us to be.

I have heard over the years that the Chinese symbol for "crisis" is also the symbol for "opportunity."  So this "crisis" that I have been experiencing of trying to understand the ways that God is calling me and our community to expand our definitions of who we are is an opportunity to claim those things about ourselves that help us and to leave behind some of those things that hold us back.  So easy to say...

When children start the process of going from childhood to adulthood the stages are often labeled as "growing pains"  because it is hard to do but there is no other choice.  Some things just have to grow and change even if we aren't ready or don't really want them to change.  Have you ever thought that a teenage boy wants his voice to crack when he's speaking in front of his class or that a teenager girl wants to go through the "awkward" stages as her body changes?  I don't remember it being like that...I remember having no choice but trying to make the best of it at the time.  

I wonder though if part of the problem now is that I expected to be done with dealing with the changes after puberty was over, like growing up had an endpoint.  Do we set ourselves up for even more discomfort with the changes that are inherent in living by telling ourselves that only a few times in life will the changes be out of our control?  The thing I am learning is that often things are out of my control but there are lots of opportunities for me to understand or gracefully address the changes in my life and in the development of our community of faith.  (There is also the option of giving into the chaos and losing almost all perspective, I confess I sometimes find myself there :) )  So how do we as a community engage in the opportunity of renewal and recreation by gracefully attending to the changes of our life together and finding ways to continue living through the sometimes difficult "growing pains" of discovering a new identity?  

  

I don’t have the answer, but I believe that together we may discover the answers by embracing the changes while seeking answers to the questions that challenge us and our world.

Lingering Questions...

I recently heard a speaker who posed a question and it captured my imagination as we, at Zacchaeus' Tree, develop as a community of faith I wondered how it might invite us into a different way of being "the Church."

He asked this, "Is the Church a place where difficult questions are asked and allowed to linger?" 

In my experience talking with people in all different walks of life, I have not gotten the impression that most people expect "the Church" to be a place where we ask questions or much less where it is safe to ask them.  I wonder if over time the communities of faith that developed fell into patterns of community that gave stability but turned into a rigid adherence to rules, rather than a commitment to continued discovery.  Isn't that how most of us work?  We start something and as we get settled into the routine we do less of the things that created the routine and made it exciting in the beginning.  Then it becomes the norm and changing it means that we have to be uncomfortable again and experiment with new things.  During time of high creativity we expect lots of changes and energy around what is new.  When we begin to get comfortable and edge into maintaining things it is easy to forget to keep trying new things and looking for new opportunities for growth.   We can also do so many new things that we never get settled into living giving routines and customs that invite us to go further in our faith and the development of community. 

Part of developing new communities and routines is in order to create a better system to maintain but if we do not consistently evaluate the things that we are maintaining we will miss opportunities for further growth and discovery.  It isn't easy to be a place where we ask difficult questions.  All people aren't ready to deal with the same difficult questions at the same time.  How can we endeavor to honor these questions, accept the discomfort and support one another as we navigate the questions with integrity, hope and love?  I want to be a part of a community where the questions that lay upon our minds can be asked safely and with the support of those around us.  What would that look like for you?  Would you participate?  And how would we know that we were that kind of place for the new people we meet? 

The second part of the question refers to letting things linger.  If you are at all like me, you prefer to have an answer--yes or no.  I tend to run quickly to an answer, even if it is painful simply so I don't have to live with uncertainty.  As much as I value uncertainty and its invitation to grow...I don't like it and it is a discipline for me to practice letting things linger.  In community it can be even harder to let things linger because we each are trying to manage our own anxiety and to gauge the anxiety of others.  We can reach out for any certainty, even a wrong one simply so we don't have to live with the unknown anymore.  How can we practice the discipline of letting things hang around for a while, unanswered and see what possibilities develop?  What does it look like for a group of individuals to figure out ways to linger together around particular questions and care for one another while we wait?   How can we as a small community cultivate a culture of question asking and a comfort with allowing our questions to linger--unanswered but not forgotten?

There are lots of questions...let's become a place and a community to ask them!

Introducing new blogger

My name is Melissa Landau and I am starting a new blog for Z Tree church in Indianapolis. I hope to include news about discussions from Bible study, Congregational Reflection time during worship services, and book studies so that others can share in the conversation. Inviting thoughts, comments, and observations about participation in opportunities to minister around town would be included as well. There are no doubt plenty of things to talk about that I have not even thought of yet! Maybe other folks will have some good ideas, too.

I enjoy attending Z Tree because it offers an accepting environment for spiritual exploration within the context of the Christian tradition. I can ask questions and receive responses that reflect depth of thought and knowledge. The questions that come up from others are thought-provoking and often challenge me to look at issues from a different perspective and think them through more thoroughly than I have in the past. My ideas and comments are met with respect. More importantly, I am met with respect.

I am proud to come from a church background that has a history of people holding fast to their faith and staying together even when enduring persecution during the Protestant Reformation. They suffered because they dared to challenge the status quo and bring forth new ideas and ways of worshiping and serving. But they never lost sight of the message of Jesus and they eventually journeyed to places all over the globe to bring the Gospel to new areas. We at Z Tree share in the challenge of this tradition as we seek to come together in community and find ways to minister to those who could use some Good News.

I am looking forward to bringing ideas and information to others and looking forward to hearing what people have to say.

Love is not Tame

"Love is an untamed force.  When we try to control it, it destroys us.  When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us.  When we try to understand, it leaves us feeling lost and confused."  Paulo Coelho

When I read, The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis for the first time I was drawn into the description of Aslan.  Aslan is the Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer of Narnia and is also a lion.  The thing about Aslan is that he is always close to the people and talking beasts of Narnia but he cannot be held or captured.  Throughout the story we are reminded that he is not a tame lion.  As I read this quote, it reminded me of the way that characters in the book long to hear from and talk to Aslan but there is no way to control him.  He comes...always at the right time but not a moment before.  Or maybe he is there all along but just doesn't appear until the moment of decision.  


As the "Church" has developed over time and into institutional structures, many of which are valuable and helpful to the edifying of the Body of Christ in the world, we have sometimes sought to control God or at the very least humanity's understanding of God.  Keeping God safely within our expectations and comfort levels.  It is hard for me when I don't understand things.  Part of me would love to get "it" and never have to deal with the ambiguity of living my life without all the answers.  But the truth is that the more I live into the Good News of God's love for the whole world I get further from the black and white and go deeper into a fullness of grace and peace than I ever imagined.  Accepting that I won't understand it all, makes it easier for me to live into Jesus' challenge to "Love the Lord with all you heart, soul and mind" and to "Love your neighbor as yourself."  

God is Love!  Here I begin...

There is rarely an explanation that really shows how and why love happens here or there.  There is nothing that explains how love can be so difficult and even sometimes lead to our own suffering and yet we continue to search for it.  Love in all its manifestations is  powerful and motivating while also being very unpredictable.  It seems that love picks us not the other way around.    

Love is a word and an idea that many of us use to talk about our passions, to push us to do better and sometimes it is also the excuse for why we do not do enough.  When we love the lines get blurred and our ability to be objective goes with it, at least that is true of me.  But I don't think that is all bad...when we are subjective, we are less likely to make judgements based on assumptions, stereotypes, or extremist opinions.  What if we were able to make our decisions always based on personal experience?  What if we "always" knew someone who was affected?  How would that change our rhetoric about family, human sexuality, politics, immigration, workers' rights, gun control, abortion...and the list goes on?  How might we begin to see the world through the eyes of love?  What would it be like if every agenda became the life or reality of our child?  How might our reactions be different? 

I imagine that we would all see ways that we had over simplified our arguments due to lack of knowledge or experience.  I imagine we would be more compassionate with others and ourselves as we began to delve into the complexities of an issue that connects to our lives.  I imagine that we would listen more than talk.  I imagine that we would be less efficient but more effective in our relationships and world.  I imagine that we would find great abundance and joy in the living of life.  

Love is tangled web...and with faith and hope I pray we will weave together a story of reconciliation and redemption for all!  I believe that love like Aslan, always shows up just in time!  As God leads us by loving us despite our faults and failures we can do the same for one another.  I imagine that love will continue to transform the world as we learn to let it control our lives rather than our lives trying to control love.  

What’s In A Story: A Study of Jesus’ Parables at Z Tree!

Jesus often used short stories, called parables, to teach people about God. He used ordinary symbols, ideas and things that most people are familiar with to open eyes to the larger realities of God’s love and Kin(g)dom in the world. In the next 8 weeks, beginning Saturday April 9, 2011 at 4pm we will be studying 8 of these parables.

We will focus each week on a particular parable. You are invited to read the parable each day and consider three questions. As a group we will reflect on those same questions and explore the meaning, context, and application of the parable on our lives.

Are you read the parable consider these questions

What is the story about? (characters, theme, plot)

How does the story affect you? (provoke, challenge, confuse, entertain, etc)

What do you think it means?

Readings

Week 1: Mustard-seed & Leaven. Matthew 13:31-33

Week 2: Ten virgins. Matthew 25:1-13.

Week 3: Wise and foolish builders. Matthew 7:24-27.

Week 4: Laborers hired. Matthew 20:1-16.

Week 5: Tree and its fruit. Luke 6:43-45.

Week 6: Prodigal son. Luke 15:11-32.

Week 7: Vine and branches. John 15:1-5.

Week 8: Good Samaritan. Luke 10:30-37.

Join us in reading and exploring these stories through you own personal devotional time and on Saturdays at 4pm!

How do you know you are living?

In Deuteronomy 30:15-20 Moses leaves the Israelites with these words as they prepare to go into the promised land without him.  Moses had led them through 40 years of faith, complaining, misunderstanding, and developing an identity.  As he looks into the land that he will never see he highlights the choice that is set before them.  You can choose life or you can choose death.  But how do you know which choice you made?  What does it look like to live?  As I thought about the ways that we can tell we are alive I thought about this movie I used to love, well I still do :), as a little girl.  In the movie this little girl, who doesn't know how to be jaded reminds a whole town about what it means to live!  Here's the clip that I thought is a great example of her ability to show others they were alive.

Polly Visits Miss Snow

As much as I believe that life is what you make it and that your attitude can make a huge difference...choosing life is not always easy.  Some times it means that we will feel more deeply the pain of loss, need to sacrifice our own desires for the betterment of the ones we love, or simply exist in the ambiguity of a middle way.  As a community it is an important question that we ask...how do we know that we are living?  What are the signs of health and vitality even as we are small and beginning?  What actions of the community will help us to continue to choose life and to embrace the opportunities for service in God's name?

It is my hope that we will journey together and challenge one another to bring together our spoken Christian values and our lived values...in my experience the more closely our values line up, the more coherent our message of the love of God for all.   So that we may live in the way of Christ who walked among and with us and continues to inspire our lives and our community!

We are God's Creation!

“While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.” --Maya Angelou

It's been a great weekend of fun, worship, and challenges to move beyond our own hopes and to engage in God's hopes for the world.  In worship we talked about what it means to follow Jesus.  (Check out the text for the day from the Gospel of Matthew 4:12-23)  

Following isn't always how our world suggests we learn.  Although it does seem to be one of the best ways to learn.  As children we learn most things by watching and following the lead of our parents and caregivers.  Haven't you ever talked to parents who began to watch their language or realize some of their own habits when their children start to mirror their actions back to them?  When we watch others and are in relationship with them we take on some of their way of being.  So it makes sense that as we grow in relationship with Jesus we will take on his way of being.  But in many ways that is a scary prospect...how can we begin to follow one who was willing to give up his whole life for the sake of those who cried out for his Crucifixion?  What does it mean for us that Jesus was homeless?  How do we reconcile our desire for comfort and stability with the always moving ministry of Jesus as he traveled through all of Judea and sometimes even Samaria?  

I wish I had the answers...but as i read the quote from Maya Angelou I began to see that in following it isn't just a change in our walking but also in our seeing.  And while we may need to imagine what it was like for Jesus to see the people around him, I believe that he always saw first that we are all God's creations!  It does change things when we begin to see the world through eyes of love.  So maybe for me today, I can work on seeing God's creation with the love that I see when I look at those I hold most dear.  That would change a lot for me and while I am sure that I will always have to work, sometimes harder than others, to see the world through Jesus' eyes I want to try.  What might it be like for you?  

At Zacchaeus' Tree we are working to use these new eyes as we join in what God is doing to create a community where people are safe to participate and learn about God surrounded by love.  There are so many questions...let's not ask them alone!  

Sitting Is Powerful!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of sitting-in with almost 100 other community supporters of the Indianapolis Hospitality Workers!  As workers ask for fair process in their desire to unionize, I am invited to lift my voice to support the dignity of humanity for all of God's children.  It made me think more about the tremendous work of Dr. King and his faith to keep on even in the face of huge odds.  He was a man who saw that the world was choosing to ignore some realities in favor of an "easier" way.  So through his work and non-violent civil disobedience he made us see that "Truth does not cease to be truth according to our ability to stomach it"--a paraphrase from Gandhi.  Because of King's courage, faith and witness we sat yesterday in a restaurant in support of workers who want to be able to do their job with dignity and without making their families suffer because of inadequate funds, time with parents, chronic pain and intimidation at the workplace.  It was amazing to get just a little taste of what it might have been like to sit at the counters, ride in the front of the bus, march in Montgomery, or to hear for the first time that their is a dream for us all!

But King was not the first to offer us a vision of a different world...nor will his voice be the last.  The belief that this world was created for a purpose and on purpose has been around forever and I believe has been true since then too.  So if we were created for a purpose how do we choose to live into it?  How might we engage our world, employers, friends and families in the often difficult conversations about things we may be choosing to overlook in order to live an "easier" way but not necessarily a better way?

I wish I had the answer but the best I have is to follow the Way of Jesus Christ in the 21st century.  In Matthew 25: 31-46, Jesus tells a story about the final judgement.  The judgement isn't based on the things often shared in the media or by the loudest among us.  People are separated based on these particular consistent actions in their living: feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, inviting the stranger into your home, clothing the naked, caring for the sick, and visiting the imprisoned.  Maybe this isn't the whole answer but I have chosen to start here.  It isn't easy and it takes practice but much like sitting at a counter or in a restaurant, one action can start a movement over time that engulfs us all!  May the peace that brings wholeness and eyes for God's vision come into our lives and world!