So I am sitting here in a coffee shop, reflecting on the many things that I am waiting to understand. What's next and how do I get there? For a person who loves to have a plan I am not much for waiting...but here I am doing just that.
In the beginning of December, I spent the weekend working with the Regional Youth Council of the Mid-States of the Moravian Church-Northern Province (wow that is a long title...) to plan Tar Hollow Senior High Summer Camp. With the theme of "I'd Rather Be," camp will be thought provoking to say the least. Interesting that I am already provoked by the theme and as I sit here waiting...I'd rather not be waiting anymore! As we brainstormed about possible biblical characters or narratives that speak to the theme of "I'd Rather be" some of my favorites came up: Moses, Esther, Jonah, Jesus...the list went on for a while. Of people for whom the call of God was not exactly what they expected or what they might have chosen if it had been their plan.
So as I wait, I wonder if they were like me, waiting for God to give direction or if they were blissfully unaware until the time came to change direction? Take Moses for example, after being a prince of Egypt turned son-in-law sheep herder. I imagine out there with the sheep gave him lots of time to think. Did he long for the intrigue and excitement of his former home or was he content with the slower pace of the wilderness? Was the burning bush, although frightening in its awe-fullness a welcome adventure even as tremendous doubts about the call at hand came to the surface? Moses, although a self-professed bad speaker, seemed to be quick on the uptake with his refute of God's plan. (Good news for me on my most snarky days :) ) Moses was pretty clear about the holes in God's idea of a strategy to free the people of Israel. And yet he came away from his encounter with "I AM" ready for a journey that promised more days of uncertainty and insecurity. I am not Moses but when I think of it...I would rather have been anywhere but there if I were in his sandals.
So how in the world did Moses get it together...what kind of thoughts helped him take the next steps to follow along with God's plan even though it seemed like a crazy shot in the dark?
I imagine that Moses like many others before and after him followed God's direction not because it made sense to him but because he trusted that God knew more about EVERYTHING that was going on that any human being could. I can only imagine the courage that it took for Moses to put it all on the line, to risk sounding crazy to those closest to him, and to become "that guy" with the ludicrous ideas about freeing slaves and some promised land that most people had given up on long ago.
As a child it seemed clear to me that Moses made the right choice and I wondered how anyone could choose not to follow God's plan...enter 29 year old Rebecca who finds herself facing one of those decisions that seems to be the choice between something safe, predictable, and reasonable or some half-baked idea that God may have some plan for my life. A plan that may not look anything like I thought, but it will be an amazing journey of the unexpected and joyful realities that come with taking step in line with the God of Justice and Love that has so formed my life up to this point. It is still difficult to have the same kind of blind trust of my 8 year old self. She knew that there is no reason not to take the path of God but now I can feel the tension of waiting that weighs so heavily I can understand taking the safe route of the expected because the alternative is risky and scary. It's tempting that's for sure...
That 8-year old still speaks her unabashed truth that following God is the only right choice, may her courage and tenacity help me to listen and follow in the way God invites me to go.
